Conventional Discipline & Your Relevance As a Parent

This was an excellent article I came across the other day.  I agree very much with the concept, and definitely wanted to share (…because sharing great content is an awesome tactic when your week has been crazy!)

Here’s why: This philosophy of parenting is consistent with the non-aggression principle, which is a morally sound principle regardless of your status as a parent, a citizen, a soldier, a state, etc.  This philosophy of parenting also recognizes that children are human too, and respects the dignity of the child (if this phrase makes you snort, just bear with me and read the article! It might make some sense!).

Excerpt: “Spanking, time-out, yelling or raging, and the levying of punishments — conventional discipline — are all reactionary behaviors. Reactionary parents believe that acting this way is okay — even if they’re not necessarily proud of it — because it let’s the child “know who’s boss.” It’s a muscle-flexing, primitive, power-based display.

While it does communicate power, it also communicates that the parent is triggered and out of control, two states that are antithetical to influence. It also let’s children know that violence, isolation, and coercion are legitimate tactics when you’re upset or when you want your way, especially if the other person is smaller and weaker.

It’s also a sign that the child has gained a unique power over the parent. If your child’s behavior can trigger emotional outbursts in you, then the ship you’re both on is without a captain for the time being.”

4 thoughts on “Conventional Discipline & Your Relevance As a Parent

  1. Kelly, sorry for the super delay in getting back to you. Thanks for the comment! And I definitely know what you mean – I’ve had my fair share of “Blue Ribbon Parenting” moments…I expect that trend to continue 🙂 But I suppose we’re engaging the in the time-honored tradition of trying to do things right – you’re either moving forward or backward, right?


  2. Pingback: Using NAP to Parent a Strong-Willed Child | AnarchoMama

  3. Thanks for sharing! So true that spanking, yelling, etc. don’t model anything other than being controlling and violent. “Reactionary” is the perfect word for these behaviors – it’s one of those things that many parents do, without thinking about “Why am I doing this? What am I hoping that they will learn from this?” … As a new parent, and anarchist, who was raised in the authoritarian style criticized here, I’ve definitely got a strong motivation to take a non-aggressive, anti-authoritarian approach to my relationship with my kid. … Anyways, thanks again for sharing this quote – I’m eager to read the article it came from!


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